Tosin’s definitely, definitely not superficial list of period drama actors

This is one of those dubious posts that I sometimes write where my sensible mind is thinking “Tosin, really?!” So there are two parts to my mind which sometimes war between themselves.  There is my sensible mind, and then there is my creative, pushing boundaries, taking dares part of my mind. And the pushing boundaries part of my mind will sometimes deliberately go ahead and do it precisely because I know it is a bit daring.  So who knows, in the morning perhaps my sensible mind will prevail after all and I will delete this post…

So here’s a thing:  I don’t watch much TV.  Actually, on consideration I am watching a lot more now. However I have often found myself watching period dramas while I don’t watch regular soaps like Eastenders, Emmerdale etc (although I did watch them when I was younger).  I love, love classic literature, and my love for period dramas started with the BBC’s adaptation of Pride and Prejudice back in 1995 starring Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle. I love Jane Austen especially, and I find that her books tend to lend themselves really easily to these profound and romantic dramas, especially because she is great at dialogue. (On the other hand urgh – I really struggled with reading Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre!)  And then also the clothes, the jewellery and the other accessories all mean that I love me a period drama!

Furthermore, because these dramas tend to be multi-part dramas with the story unfolding over a number of episodes, that tends to mean that you spend a number of hours with the characters…

Of late, I’ve been finding things a little (negatively) “interesting”, by which I mean that I don’t really want to go into details. Thankfully nothing truly bad by any means…just (negatively) “interesting”. So in part to make myself feel better I’ve been watching the first series of the period drama Sanditon.  And oh my goodness, I think it’s amazing.  Seriously!  I haven’t rewatched “Pride and Prej”, as it is known in my house, for years, although I have watched it least five times all through, if not twenty times.  However I always regarded it as the Gold Standard in terms of period dramas – the original and the best. The attention to detail is simply breathtaking!  However, I think I might prefer Sanditon.  If I were to rewatch “Pride and Prej”, I would probably pick up once again on the little details that make it outstanding, (after all this is the BBC!) – and I might be forced to acknowledge the ways in which Sanditon falls short. However, what I find captivating about Sanditon is the chemistry between the lead actors. And it is also a little more accessible I think, in terms of the romance than P and P. What I mean is that I still cannot watch the scene where Darcy originally proposes to Lizzie Bennet as I find it just too painfully cringey (“Did you expect me to congratulate myself on the inferiority of your connections?!” To delight (?) myself in the acquisition of ?relatives? whose position in life is so decidedly beneath my own?!” – or something very similar!)  Just thinking of it makes me wince, even though these are obviously actors and I am not personally involved! Even the second “proposal” scene I find equally embarrassing – “Darlingest Lizzie”) However the Sanditon equivalent was a lot lighter and therefore easier to watch – perhaps because Jane Austen did not actually write that part, as the actual work written by her only reached 11 chapters, all covered in the first half hour of the TV series, and the rest was written by the TV writers, namely the one and same Andrew Davies who worked on the BBC’s Pride and Prej! In Sanditon both Rose Williams as Charlotte Heywood and Theo James as Sidney Parker are brilliantly cast and the expressiveness of their faces and the way they look at one another, the stolen glances between them are simply amazing.

Spoiler alert – Sanditon has ahem – an atypical ending, but you know what, even while being heartbroken, like everyone else, still I loved it, because in context it just worked, I thought. To the writers of Sanditon, having watched the first episode of the second series, I am tempted to say: “You need to bring Sidney Parker back, ideally played by Theo James! I don’t care what magic you have to employ in your writing to make that happen!” (After all, “Mistaken Identity” is a useful trope that has been used from the beginning of time in similar contexts…) “And please give us all the ending that we need from Charlotte and Sidney so that all those lingering glances and feisty arguments would not have been in vain!” (Perhaps I will need to start my own personal campaign!)

Other than that, there’s lots of stuff that I was not so happy with, like some nudity – I can’t imagine why that would ever be necessary – and other overly sexualised features.  However, I think that the actors are all very, very talented.  I was asking myself whether the actors themselves are naturally that talented, or whether they had acting coaches.  Either way, I was really impressed. And of course, I could not help noticing that Theo James as Sidney Parker is extremely attractive, and oh my goodness, what a voice!

So I was thinking of a few other actors mainly in period dramas that I also found attractive, and thinking how they would all rank against one another. I am thinking more about recent things that I have watched within the last few years.
So here then are all the actors:

Tom Bateman in ITV’s Vanity Fair – approx 4 yrs ago?

Regé-Jean Page in Bridgerton Season 1 – which I have not actually watched, as it was just too sexualised

Theo James – in Sanditon, as written about above

Michiel Huisman – in Angela Black.  This is not actually a period drama, but I did watch it, and he is so handsome, so it counts!

Jonathan Bailey as Anthony Bridgerton in Bridgerton Season 2 – I have not watched Season 2 either!

Leo Suter as Mr Stringer or “Young Stringer” in Sanditon, a love rival to Theo James’ Sidney Parker.  Again, what a voice!!!

Hmm, so this is not actually that long a list!

Anyway, I was thinking how I might rank them:

Firstly, in terms of pure facial attractiveness – actually you know what, perhaps it is not necessary to rank them. All that needs to be said is that they are all incredibly handsome in their roles.  A couple of points I want to make are these though:  sometimes the character is more attractive than the actor!  So the actor as himself, or when depicted in other roles, might be nice, or even handsome, but not particularly compelling.  But then with the aid of the right type of facial hair, the costume department, and undoubtedly, some subtle “man make-up” – and they are transformed into these stupendously attractive creatures.
Secondly, I might rank pure facial handsomeness one way, but if I were to rank it by overall most attractive, the ordering would be different! For me personally, there are so many aspects to male attractiveness in addition to how the face looks.  This includes of course, the man’s physique, and how he carries himself. Why am I writing this post?  No good reason actually, I’m just indulging in a little light-hearted superficiality. If I were to relate this to my own Huggie-Wuggie, I guess the point would be this:  while I try to be holy and full of the Bible, I do also notice attractive men.  So if you could be my Huggie-Wuggie, there is nothing wrong with making a bit of an effort, carefully choosing your wardrobe to look good!  Because you know, even with prayers and Bible etc even as Christians we still have eyes as well as regular biological triggers… I’m not suggesting that I want my man to wear make-up though! For me that would be a step too far!

And after just watching 8 episodes of Theo James strutting around as Sidney Parker in Sanditon, I also need to say that I personally would not mind if men went back to greatcoats some mysterious but attractive item of clothing! Actually on doing some research I did not mean a greatcoat, but I don’t know what the name of that historical piece of clothing is. It is not dissimilar to a modern man’s suit jacket but the front extends into two tails, if I remember clearly.  Whatever they are called, I would not mind it if they came back into fashion!  (Actually, on reflection it might be the back that extends into two tails, they might be called “tailcoats”.)

But thinking further on it, and undoubtedly trying to justify myself (I was asking myself how I would feel if a guy, perhaps a guy I was interested in, wrote a similar post to this one perhaps about all the “hottest actresses on TV”.  Would I like it?  Would I get offended it?  Would I consider it completely unacceptable? Would I consider it completely unchristian? As I’m writing this, I don’t know the answers to those questions.  But I did think further on this, and wonder whether it is appropriate to draw out a few thoughts regarding Christian masculinity.)

I know that I would probably despise it if a man drew up a list of attractive actresses, then proceeded to use that list to lecture women on how they should dress to be attractive.  But then, the power dynamics between men and women are different in that men have always been more powerful (so doing something like this as a man might come across as emphasising or reinforcing existing power dynamics, where that same connotation might not exist the other way around), and furthermore people have been telling women (or at least this woman) to dress attractively for years! And yes, that includes Christian people, telling Christian women.  So I would imagine that many Christian women would understand that yeah, you want to be holy, but yeah, you also want to look good, to catch and keep the attention of your holy Christian husband. And this is just a matter of day-to-day pragmatism.  Well I guess in this post I would like to suggest that this pragmatism works both ways!  Now here’s the thing.  I sincerely don’t know if Christian men discuss this in their mysterious “men’s meetings.”  I don’t know whether men are constantly encouraging one another that “Man, you have to look good for your woman, because there are wolves out there, just waiting to pounce!” – or whatever (as Christian women are constantly being told)! What I can tell you off the top of my head is that I can think of many Christian men, who do not look bad, but all the same with them a little bit of extra effort could go so far! So just in case this kind of thing is not spoken of that much in male Christian circles, or no-one has ever said anything like this to you before, can I offer a few words from my admittedly superficial perspective?!

Here’s the thing:  if you are going to wear clothes anyway, (which I hope you do, otherwise that would be a whole different discussion!) – why not take a little bit of extra effort to choose styles and cuts that flatter your build?  Why not spend a little time working out which colours suit you,  or which styles you feel most comfortable in? This does not need to involve great time or expense. I think that the reason many people might not look good even when well dressed is because the style they have chosen does not suit them or their personality.  I understand that there might be a fear that if you were to start down this road you might allow all of this to go to your head and you might find yourself becoming obsessed with your appearance.  I guess you could always pray for God’s wisdom regarding this, and anyway, these are exactly the same battles that we as women have always had to navigate – so perhaps now it is your turn to wrestle with these things!

I’d also like to talk a little about confidence. I have long understood that for both men and women, confidence is what makes perhaps the biggest difference in terms of being attractive.  This is about being comfortable in your own skin and your own frame.  Going back to the actors, remember that as themselves they are often shrug – missable, forgettable – but as their characters above they are invariably utterly compelling, even though the character obviously looks very similar to the actor playing him.  I imagine that as well as make-up etc the difference is often in the almost exaggerated confidence they have to display in character. So I would suggest walk tall, no matter how tall you are. When people slouch, or walk looking down, it’s almost as if they are telling everyone around them: “I’m not very important, don’t waste any effort on taking me seriously!” Look people in the eye when you are talking to them. Smile! For men, especially, practise a good firm handshake (for when the world actually goes back to shaking hands post-Covid – but please don’t pull my hand off!) As Christians sometimes we feel shy about taking up space, as if it is somehow not humble to assert ourselves.  But the fact is that our body unavoidably takes up literal space anyway, so we may as well be confident about it!  Also,  if you’re shy, practise making eye contact with yourself perhaps in a mirror, until you become confident, and then you can try it with real people.

Here’s the thing, please believe me that this works!  Just try walking tall, with quiet confidence (as opposed to exaggerated confidence, as people who do this can come across as arrogant) and you might notice heads discreetly watching you as you walk down the street.  Do be warned though, getting regularly noticed by the opposite sex brings with it a certain kind of power, and it can go to your head, all too easily, and when you start to realise that people tend to find you attractive it can be all too easy to slip into flirtation, or possibly even worse. This is where you need God’s guidance and God’s groundedness and God’s wisdom.  And to be clear outstanding  character is still the overwhelming factor that will determine the actual success of your marriage.  So if you can only work on one thing, work on your character. But I believe that on balance it is worth it to be attractive too, if you can, because it is likely to make your wife very, very happy!
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Edit added 7th August 2022: A note to the ladies…
This is an edit that I was meaning to add when I initially wrote this post, but then I completely forgot:  Nothing in my list of what men can do to be attractive actually makes a man a better husband, other than that he is more attractive. None of this makes him kinder, more understanding, more patient, more considerate, more honest.  So the flip side of that is when we as ladies find ourselves staring at one of these men who has learned and puts into practice what it means to be attractive, we must remember that the fact that he is attractive does not in any way speak to his substance as a person, or his potential as a husband in the things that truly matter: ie things pertaining to his character.  As the Bible says, referring to women, but also relevant to men “Beauty is vain, and charm is deceitful…” Proverbs 31v30