This page explains a few basic things about me specifically and my approach to relationships.
I have been writing this blog for over a decade now, and I want to make it clear that my approach to sexual purity has not changed in the slightest in all that time.
I believe that as Christians we should reserve sex for marriage and in my own life I employ every [strategy – for want of a better word] and prayer necessary to make sure that I never find myself in a sexually dangerous or tempting situation with anyone.
On this blog I have admitted that I have struggled with an erotica habit. In a way it can be tempting to think that this is a “lesser evil” than actually going out to have sex, but it is not. By the grace of God my determination is to make sure that this habit is completely broken, by the power of the Holy Spirit, and my mind is purified of all the rubbish I have put there myself.
As part of my commitment to sexual purity, I have a number of “guy rules”. These basically involve not being physically alone with a guy, and also a few other things like not speaking late at night. Video calls are OK though (laughs!) Additionally, I have zero tolerance for someone who does not respect my guy rules, or who tries to pressurise me into breaking or bending my rules. Actually, I have also recently unfriended someone female who tried to pressurise me into doing what she wanted. The mere thought makes me shudder. Because I try my hardest to be sweet and kind and accommodating, in obedience to the Bible, people sometimes treat me as if they think I am easily manipulable. As a result of this, in my life I end up unfriending a LOT of people.
I don’t believe in premarital dating. The key word there is premarital. I mean going out on lots of exciting dates primarily as a way of getting to know someone. I personally don’t believe that this is an effective way of getting to know someone. I believe that the exciting dating is most effective in marriage, when you have already found someone truly excellent, evaluated them, and committed to them, and when you want to actively build fun and excitement into your life and future together.
I believe in evaluating someone for a period of two years in a non-romantic setting before considering them romantically. Ideally, the best thing would be if you were in a big church for instance with lots of people, when you could “two-year” lots of people at the same time. This literally just means watching people carefully, seeing the way that they behave. For marriage, I personally am looking for a man with earth-shattering commitment to Christ and earth-shattering pursuit of Christlike character…
I have actually got an ever-growing list of “essential criteria” for my husband. It is a little tongue-in-cheek but it is also completely serious. A relentless pursuit of Christ Himself and with that, Christlike character is the primary criterion.
My own pursuit of Christlike character:
In tandem with my list of “essential criteria” for my husband, I also need to put my own list of how I am performing next to each of those criteria. It is not just a one-sided thing, of course, that I sit here demanding his excellence. I want any potential husband to know that I also give my all in pursuit of Christ and in pursuing Christlike character, and I will also give my utmost to being an amazing wife for him.