You know, there is something I have been vaguely thinking of for a while now, and just today I experienced deep conviction about it: over the years, this blog has devolved into a true rantfest. And yet that was never the original intention. At times I have angrily addressed people through this blog, and my other one, Tosin’s Bible Blog, in an attempt to communicate my anger at them. However, the main point of these rants was to try to come to a place of understanding about it all. And I believe that I have reached that place now.
So I will now work on removing the rants both from this blog and from my other blog, Tosin’s Bible Blog (temporarily offline). I don’t necessarily want to remove the posts the rants are embedded in altogether unless it is absolutely necessary, so I might have to spend some time thinking how to rework each post.
From henceforth, my aim is not to talk about anyone I know at all on any of my blogs. Even positively. Sometimes it can’t be helped and I will have no choice but to draw from my own experience, especially if I need to illustrate a point about relationships. However, I am currently thinking that a good compromise would be to find existing examples online to illustrate the points, even if they have actually been inspired by my own experience.
You know, it has taken me a long time to understand a viable approach to people, and Christians, and in the meantime I have experienced so much frustration. However now that I am here, from henceforth my attitude is going to be one of grace. The honest truth is that these people who have inspired these rants, where they are Christians are to all practical intents and purposes practising a completely different faith to me, and now I understand that, and I understand that it is unfair of me to hold them to the same standards. However, by the same token, it is also unwise for me to attend their churches, once again because they are practising a different faith to me. It is just like how I would not rant against Muslims, but then I would not attend Muslim mosques either.
Removing these rants will involve careful reading through all my existing posts, so please do bear with me.
I have to specifically address the issue of my husband: I have thought many times about whether or not I should write about my husband on this blog. Not just after he is actually my husband, but in the run-up to us getting together etc.
For his sake, I want to make this clear:
If my husband or someone I am considering romantically decides that he never wants me to refer to him, then that is fine, I will not.
If he is generally OK with it, then he can ask me to remove any particular post about him that he does not like, he can read them all before I publish them. However, something that would make that difficult is this: I tend to edit my posts many times over. So even if he read something beforehand and was happy with it, there is a possibility that I might add an amendment which he is less happy with.
Perhaps I need to decide for myself that I will not write about my husband, or any person I am actively considering romantically, whether or not they would be happy with it (although I already know they would not be happy!) Hopefully that will put everyone’s minds at rest!!! 🙂 Unfortunately, I don’t know how to write this blog about relationships without validating my opinions with my own experiences… 🤔🤔🤔 Additionally, I am conscious that my husband might sometimes think that I am addressing an issue with him, even if I go out of my way to illustrate the point with an external example. I guess that he and I would have to discuss that, and hope that a straightforward solution presents itself, and/or pray about it.
Or maybe the solution would be this: to make up my mind for his sake and for the sake of peace in our marriage never to talk about him, even playfully, even positively. Just make the topic of my husband and our marriage completely out of bounds on this blog. But then, in addition to that, to fully set his mind at rest, give him the right of veto over any posts that I have written since starting to consider him romantically, even after these posts have been published – ie, he can change his mind about a post even if he has previously allowed it.
Additionally, if Huggie-Wuggie wants me to stop writing these posts altogether after he and I are married, then I would suggest that we pray about it. If, after prayer, he still feels the same way, I would be happy to do that. However, because I truly believe that these posts are saying something important, I would be reluctant to delete the existing posts up until I started considering him romantically, and I would want to be able to keep developing the existing ideas.