Clarifying my remarks: to make it clear I have big time for everyone!

You know, not too long ago I wrote about “yes” and “no” people. Actually I updated those names, and cannot now remember what I called them: freebie friendships and reciprocal friendships? – and I wrote that from henceforth I will only invest my time, effort and energy into reciprocal friendships.  I was almost blazing with righteous indignation as I wrote those posts, and I now realise that they could have given off completely the wrong idea.

Here is the thing: I have time for people! While I talk endlessly about my personal ambitions I naturally have and make time for everyone! Actually, alongside my personal ambitions, I also talk a lot about my dreams of community. Well that boils down to people spending lots of time together, achieving things together, making time for one another.  I have written before and it remains true that for me true community is an even bigger and more pressing need than marriage.

However, in living this lifestyle, I have found that time and time again that other people, and most other people at that, do not have the same heart as I do. To be fair to these other people I guess that life is busy and sometimes people do whatever they think that they have to do to survive, and sometimes that involves knowingly or unknowingly or carelessly treading on other people or taking other people for granted. So after it has happened so many times that other people have taken me for granted or tried to pull me down or made or insinuated groundless accusations against me or failed to offer me reciprocity in return for my own huge efforts towards them, I have chosen to restrict my big efforts and investments of time to people of proven character, that is, people who I have confidently evaluated to be striving after Christ as hard as I am. At the moment that is almost no-one. However, ideally, that would grow to include as many people as possible.  And I am hoping that that would come soon! I was born for community, and I love being able to lavish time and effort on others, building together something that is bigger than the sum of its parts. And actually, that is a great description of the marriage I hope to have too!