Also…(posts to write)

These are a few expressions of insecurity I have made on this blog recently, which have greatly surprised me, actually!

Gushing: I’m really sorry I said this, I really wish I had made more of an effort to find  a better word. What I meant, dear Mr Guy in Question, is that you were extremely enthusiastic, but crucially, I knew it was coming from a place of kindness.
Here is the thing: this is a really, really good thing which made me really happy, and I am beyond grateful for that kindness.
However, my female vanity, to the extent that it exists (it definitely does!) is not excited by the thought that a man might respond to my looks just out of kindness, but I would like to provoke other emotions too!  If this whole thing is not just me making it up, I hope that the time will come when I can actively work to make more of an effort. However, I do have a tendency to go overboard, and I am worried about shooting out vibes which are completely inappropriate for just now, so at the moment, I’m going to have to settle for kindness. That is, assuming that you actually ever talk to me again!!!
That is literally all that I meant in that post.

Also I’m sorry that I hinted that there might be something wrong with the food in your country. I am sure it is absolutely delicious, and I am certainly open to being converted!

Hmm, so on balance I might not be feeling particularly shy, but I am apparently feeling a little insecure…Sorry for making things a little weird! (Peeks through fingers!)

Writer:  By the way, you also need to know that I am a writer, rather than a talker. For some reason my brain just works better in writing than in talking. Additionally I am completely out of practice of having conversations. So if you have any questions it would be helpful if you could please send them to me in writing so that I could think about them beforehand, otherwise I am liable to just start saying just anything!!! 🙂

You know, I want this, but I definitely don’t want to pressure you.  Rather I want you to be utterly convinced of this, that this is right, and right for you.  You know, I was reflecting recently that people need to take their time to make the right decision about relationships, and I hope that you will do this! 🙂  Honestly there is no time pressure whatsoever, at least on my side! Additionally there is not even a hint of a shadow of anyone else, realistically speaking – despite my comments about kings short and tall! You know, I know that I am doing exactly the opposite of what many people do to try to get into relationships: act as if they are majorly in demand, try to create a sense of urgency. However, rather than jumping into something prematurely for fear of time running out, I would rather that someone took their time to make sure that we were right for one another so that we can both be more secure in the resulting relationship.  The one thing is biological/age considerations. However, if I am to be honest, that has never really been a big consideration for me, even where it arguably should have been, because I have always been more interested in the actual husband himself rather than the family we might have.

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