Yet another reason to choose character over “falling madly in love”

Thankfully this particular story turned out to have a happy ending, because she lived to tell the tale. And yet so many others don’t.

We need to understand, we need to widely promote the idea that it is not “love” that qualifies someone for a relationship.  Rather it is maturity, emotional regulation, reliability, responsibility, and a deep-seated understanding about the inherent dignity, worth and autonomy of other people, and a commitment to respecting those things in other people.  “Love” does not automatically produce these things, whether it is the fact that the victims deeply “love” their abusers or whether it is that the abusers claim that they “love” their victims. This is why two-yearing is important, because it gives each party a chance to carefully measure and evaluate the other for all of these crucial qualities.

I was just thinking about the concept of “giving someone a chance”.  I would never casually “give someone a chance” in something where my life could be at risk. Pro-tip, in relationships, your life is at risk!