My values

These are my values that I believe people need to be aware of before reading this blog.

1. Firstly I am a Christian, a born again Christian. I am very, very serious about my faith and I believe it and in it very deeply. So on this blog I talk very freely about God and Jesus and the Bible and prayer. In fact I’ve got a whole other blog which is all about my faith, Tosin’s Bible Blog, available here

2. Secondly, I am a feminist to the greatest extent allowed by my faith! I believe that the Bible grants women exactly the same “rights” or potentials in Christ and God as it grants men. That said I would be the first person to agree that there is so much sexism in the church (as there sadly is so much racism). Many Christians apparently fail to grasp that God has made Himself freely and equally available to everyone. Please be warned, I spend a long time on this blog, in fact both of my blogs, complaining about the seemingly endless sexism and racism I have experienced from supposed “Christians”!

3. Personally, I like to think of myself as being extremely ambitious. This strongly colours the criteria I am looking for in my husband. For instance, I know that much of the negativity I have experienced in church and christian circles has come from insecurities that people were experiencing. But I have so many dreams and goals, I would find it frustrating to constantly be having to wrestle against the insecurities of someone who has authority over me, and can tell me what to do. (According to the Bible, which my entire life is submitted to, my husband will automatically have this authority as the Bible commands wives to submit to their husbands). As I am writing this it sounds heartless even to myself. Of course I will love my husband and of course my husband must come above any dream or goal I could possibly have. How utterly awful if my husband was ever to feel that he was second to my dreams. I would rather walk away from absolutely everything (including this blog) than to let that be true.

But still! It would make everyone’s life easier if I simply married someone who had learnt to control any potential insecurities he might feel regarding my dreams and ambitions. That said if I do come across the right man and it is clear that he is the right man, and he is still working on this then we will simply have to work on this together as we will undoubtedly also work together on the areas in which I have my own struggles.