Different post thoughts

It is past 3.00 am as I start this post and I so need to be sleeping! However, I have already been procrastinating about writing these posts for so long that I just want to quickly note them down so that I don’t forget them.

– A crush signifies – absolutely nothing. I have always been keen to explore crushes because I thought that they meant something, there must be some profound reason why I am particularly attracted to that man rather than any other. But I have finally realised that it is simply an expression of a need within myself settling itself on some guy.
It does not need to be explored, as something real, rather it tells me something about myself and possibly what I need to work towards in marriage.
Additionally, I thought that the Mr TDA thing was an expression of attraction. But in retrospect, I am thinking it was actually an expression of loneliness.
Marriage should not be the result of feelings that descend on you from the sky, but rather it should be a deliberate decision entered into with your logical, rational mind, telling yourself whatever hard truths are necessary.
Also some people don’t seem to get crushes, I tend to get huge crushes, just the way I am wired – quiet and deep.

– Ways I need to be accountable to my future husband: money, sexual purity, commitment to God

– “Affordances” – or why men don’t notice home chores that need doing. Or, I think it is that many men set out to marry wives specifically so that they can have someone to take care of the home. So even if they do notice dirt, they might mentally think “that’s her job”. And they think of it as “helping” their wife to do something that is fundamentally her job, just like some men describe themselves as “babysitting” their own children.

– Why do we as women put ourselves under men’s power?  If a man calls you beautiful, and because of that you jump into a relationship with him, then that establishes that his words have power over you, and he can abuse that by using his words to hurt you. Instead, don’t jump into a relationship with someone so easily just because of whatever he might say to you, insist rather on character.  Actually jumping too easily into a relationship with someone for any reason at all gives them power over you, which many men do abuse.

– Give the man what he wants! Monthly checkins to express how I am doing in working towards the goal of being the woman of his dreams. Perhaps letters to Mr HW? (Today is anniversay of my “letter to my husband”!